Uno Mas?

Our family has grown by two. 

I have had a feeling for quite some time that we would be welcoming two more souls into our home. And this little set of elephant figurines I bought in Mexico kind of confirmed that feeling. 

The kids immediately assigned each of us by age to an elephant in order of decreasing size. Of course the kids asked who the last two elephants were for. Well, now we know.

Meet Lucy and Lady, our twin gerbils. I think Lucy is in the foreground, but it's hard to say. They are happily shredding a toilet paper ball.

"What is a toilet paper ball?" you may ask.They are not commonly seen in most households, but they occur commonly here. At any given moment, you may walk into a Hammond bathroom and be greeted by a sight like this one:

 

Before deciding they might some day serve a purpose, I used to attempt flushing them down the toilet (I'm so optimistic) or I would toss them in the garbage while hoping that my son could hear and internalize my indiscriminate yelling that "whoever keeps making these wads of toilet paper is creating more work and waste for Mom!" 

One day I decided to keep the small flock of white squishy wads because I realized my son was actually proud of these little creations, and he thought I was appreciating these daily surprises. So in Kind, Patient and Taking Slow, Deep Breaths mother mode, I asked him to tell me more about them. Well that little innovator granted me an exclusive interview.

Which is how we now have a recipe that anyone can follow:

"First, you get the toilet paper off of the roll and then you put water in it. Then you squeeze them out because after you wetten them, this gets them ready to dry. It takes a few days for them to dry." 

I would also add that the balls made from Puffs Plus Lotion resist wadding and turn out fluffier. The more compacted and dry wads are really nice for having a snowball fight in the summer. I should add that the water is definitely from the sink. We have standards around here.

As it turns out, our new family members love dried toilet paper balls. Richard was planning for the future and didn't know it. An innovator, like I said.

And just in case it turns out the gerbils have not satisfied the "your idea of three maybe four kids is actually going to be three maybe five," we made Dad a fun Father's Day gift that made more than a couple people about faint with shock before they read the very last line.

"The kids and I went on a candy Spree and though it looks like we spent 100 Grand, it's only enough to Butter you up! Of all the Nerds in the Milky Way, you are definitely the Big(gest) Hunk, Baby! And if the Runts are Punch-ing each other, don't let it Sour your Payday. 'Cause Sugar, Babies are what we do and what if the Dr. Snickers at the next ultrasound because we're having Twins? PS--no one is currently expecting."

Life is so sweet. 

But the kind of revenge that life would be dealing to me as a twin who put her parents through a Year of Survival, well, that would not be so sweet.

Stay tuned.